It has often been said that getting even is the best revenge and that tit for tat is a fair game. In fact, in Biblical times, the latter notion was strongly adhered to in some communities and still is to this very day in some societies.
A life well lived, however, YOU define well, is the best revenge. When you chose to let go of past injuries and disappointments and allow them to make you better rather than bitter, you win. You win because choosing to let go of past hurts allows you to reclaim power you may have given away to and confidence that was stolen from you by those who hurt you.
You become the bigger person when you refuse to stoop to their level in an effort to give them a taste of their own medicine and choose instead to shut off their negative voices in your head and not allow them to break your spirit, have an impact on your life or change your essence.
Have you ever watched one of those “Geek to Chic” transformation shows where transformed guests come on the show to confront their former bullies and reveal to them, what they currently look like and where life has taken them? The look on the bullies’ faces is always one of awe, embarrassment and remorse upon revelation; especially when they discover that the person they once picked on or looked down on went on to do things with their life while they (the bullies) never really did anything with theirs.
I love comeback stories and always find myself rooting for the underdog. I am sure there are many times in your life when you have felt like the underdog and like no one was rooting for you or cheering you on. Maybe you grow up being told that you wouldn’t amount to anything, weren’t liked by the cool kids in school, didn’t feel like you fit in or belonged in high school or had someone make you feel like you weren’t good enough or could do nothing without them.
Perhaps people to this day still undermine or disregard you because they didn’t think you had anything to offer or contribute. Maybe your family treats you like the black sheep because they didn’t think you are capable of doing anything right or spends a majority of their time comparing you with others and making you feel inadequate because you don’t have a college degree, hold a prestigious job or have a family of your own.
Whatever, the case, accept the fact that you will never be able to meet everyone’s expectations of you, try as you might. You have to be your own cheerleader and support yourself wherever you are on your journey. As long as YOU feel that you are giving your all to everything you do and are making progress in whatever way you measure progress, then you are living well. Your life might not be perfect to those on the outside looking in, but it serves you.
We lose ourselves when we try to get everyone on our side and allow their expectations of us to be the barometer by which we measure our success. We are all on separate journeys with different assignments and timetables. Embrace your individuality and measure your success by the progress you make daily and how far you feel you have come. Celebrate those victories and allow them to steer you towards wanting and doing more for yourself.
Don’t waste your time and energy trying to seek people’s validation and approval. The only person who might pat you on your back is yourself, be content with that fact and strive to do better in all you do. Pursue the things that make you feel happy, peaceful and fulfilled and only surround yourself with people who support you, believe in you and applaud whatever progressive steps you make in life.
You might still have a long way to go, but have come a far way so far. Your life might currently not be what you imagined for yourself but it’s probably better than it was a few years back. You might not have all the things people expect you to have but the things you do have, are things you have worked to achieve.
The next time anyone tries to make you feel less than you are or tries to remind you of what you haven’t achieved yet or failed to thus far, take a good look at yourself the you next stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself, “look at me now!!!”