A co-worker and I recently had a casual conversation about a very “infamous” female celebrity that really caused me to raise my eyebrows. I was baffled by all the negativity she spewed against this person considering she doesn’t know her on a personal level and the fact that she thought I was somewhat shallow for not sharing her views or supporting her hate filled tirade.
She made me realize a lot of unnecessary hate exists in the world and left me with the impression that all she really was is a hater.
The urban dictionary defines a hater as a person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success; so rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person because of their desire to bring him/her down a notch.
You have to know that there are people who thrive on trivializing and minimizing other people’s accomplishments and successes because they feel threatened, challenged, intimidated by or envious of them. We live in a dog eat dog world that promotes competition and doesn’t encourage the celebration of other people’s achievements enough.
I stumbled upon a thread on facebook yesterday that highlighted Lupito Nyong’o’s current trip to Kenya. Although a lot of my fellow Kenyans are proud of and happy for her because of the success she has managed to achieve in such a short span of time in Hollywood; a lot of people were also quick to point out nonsensical issues in an effort to deride her and downplay her success and accomplishments while overlooking her talent and proving themselves ignorant to the fact that her diligence, dedication and commitment was responsible for getting her where she is today.
It amazes me that people actually take and have the time to visit message boards and online commentary sections to express their distaste towards people they don’t personally know or who have done nothing to them, and allow themselves to get caught up in issues and matters that don’t add any value to their lives or affect that of the people they choose to verbally attack.
People appear to be threatened by people who are different from them, who have the things they desire or who cause them to reflect on their own lives. Rather than face their own inadequacies or insecurities and make the changes they need to make and do the things that are required of them to make their lives more satisfactory; they take the easy way out and choose instead to focus on and point out other people’s shortcomings and flaws in an effort to elevate themselves and feel better about who they are.
If you have haters of your own, consider yourself fortunate as it most likely means you are doing things that set you apart from the crowd and living a life that challenges others to reflect on their own. People have a hard time making peace with the fact that there will always exist people who are more successful, more talented, more attractive, more educated, more financially stable or more of anything else than they are and allow the dissatisfaction they feel with themselves to cause them to hate on others.
No matter whom you are and what you do, trust the fact that not everyone will applaud your efforts, support your dreams or celebrate your successes. Not everyone will cheer you on in your race or believe in you no matter how much you prove yourself worthy of their acknowledgment and recognition; make peace with that and be okay with celebrating yourself and being your own cheerleader.
If you are a hater yourself, take some time out to figure out what it is about the person you hate on that makes you feel inadequate and like you don’t measure up. People are often envious of people they sometimes secretly admire and wish they were like; are their qualities this person possesses that you wish you had? Does this person challenge your perspectives and make you reflect on your life in ways that make you feel uncomfortable? Do their successes and accomplishments make you feel like your life is lacking in many areas?
It is never really about the person you hate but more so about you and how the person makes you feel about yourself. People who are content and happy with themselves don’t expend their energy on petty matters or allow other people’s lives to become their main focus or waste their time trying to knock others down from their pedestals; they instead celebrate other people’s successes, admire them and try to emulate them.
Let’s stop hating!